The truth cuts deeper than a razor blade!

Dear Mother-in-law,

Over the last 3 years, many events have come to pass which made my integration into the family less than favourable! For this reason, I have been pressing my husband against the wall to ensure that he kept a tight lip about something presently going on in our lives.

I am pregnant with our 4th child! I am 5 ½ months along. The baby is due sometime at the end of October, beginning of November! On July 15th, we will know if it’s to be a girl or a boy this time around!

Because of many events, I was ready and willing to go through my entire pregnancy without anyone from my husband’s side knowing! But, I am getting rather tired of having to try to find excuses on how to remove myself from upcoming family events, as my belly is growing bigger each day!

In normal circumstances, you would have been one of the first to know, but after 2 consecutive pregnancy put downs, I have to admit, I was truly not looking forward to a third!

We are a family and as such, our family will grow whether others like it or not! The fact that most think of our union as a mockery, doomed to fail at any given moment (causing my husband to royally screw up his life for good) I find this to be rather disgusting and deplorable!

We will outlast all couples we know, as we came together with nothing and we survived struggles most couples would have run away from, many moons ago. We managed to build something absolutely wonderful together…A FAMILY! Against all odds…we did it and we are extremely happy!

I am sorry if this letter upsets you, but I needed to let you know the reason behind us not telling you sooner.

We would have told you in person, but I am not too good at being able to swallow reactions less than positive and it would no doubt have truly sealed my husband’s family’s fate with me for good!

I truly hope you will be happy, not only for us (because it’s our lives), but deep within to know that your family is growing and you are a very lucky grand-mother!

Hope this letter finds you well.

Sincerely I remain,

Your daughter-in-law

Respect

I got inspired to write this morning, after having read a story on a blog some time ago.

A little girl got inspired one day and decided to take a rock and scratch a mural on the neighbour's car!

Her punishment was, 5 days/nights of not being able to play with her friends. I suppose this meant, the child was to remain at home and not be able to have any friends over and no sleepovers either!

I was flabbergasted! To me, such a punishment was a simple tap on the wrist for such an enormous lack of respect towards another person's possession!

I approached my son (aged 10) this morning and flat out asked him:

"Would you take a rock and proceed to draw pictures on someone else's car?"

To which he immediately got on the defensive and said: "Mom, I swear I never did such a thing!"

I asked him to cool down and to simply answer the question.

Of course his answer was: "NO! Never!"

I then asked him: "WHY?"

"Because it is not right to touch another person's things, especially a car, as cars are very expensive to own and fix!" he said.

When I told him what this little girl had done, his mouth dropped to the floor! I then told him what her punishment was...

This is the funny part...

He responded:

"Geeze, if I would have done such a thing, I would have been punished severely!"

I asked him: "How's that? What do you think your punishment would have been?"

He then proceeded to respond:

1- I would have gotten the beating of a lifetime;

2- I would have been locked in my room for 2 weeks;

3- I would have only white bread and water to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner...

Needless to say, none of my children would have done such a thing as the punishment they would have gotten would not have been worth the 5 minutes of fun they think they would have had doing such a destructive thing!

RESPECT! Do not touch what is NOT yours!

It's a plain and simple rule every child, teenager and adult should know!

Lemons - They Make Great Lemonade!

There's an old saying that goes...

"When life throws you lemons, make lemonade!"

How true...so true!

My life is composed of more downs than ups.
The tragedies I have witnessed in my life, forced me to have to deal with things as they came.

I didn't have your average happy youth, "Au contraire"...

I was born the middle child. I was also known as the black sheep of my family!

Both my brother and sister got glorified by my mother, yet I was left in the sidelines, basically left for dead and had no choice but to fend for myself.
No amount of good I could ever do would ever change the way my own mother treated me!
I was alone!

I learned a lot about life at a very young age. Most of my teachers were strangers to most, but they became my family!

I grew up at the neighbour's house, in her kitchen. Not for nothing that today I can cook just about anything, if I put my mind to it.

Over the years, I have come face to face with many who have gotten to know me and immediately felt threatened or overwhelmed by my person.

Needless to say, this has caused me a great deal of hurt and harm in my life, having found myself facing situations beyond my control, due to the fact that someone wanted me abolished!

I cannot help but be who I am!

If I make you laugh, it's because I have spent far too many years crying!

If I can cook a meal that would be classified as 5 star quality, it's because my mother wanted nothing to do with me and so I would run to the only place I knew I was appreciated - My neighbour's kitchen, where I baked my first cake at the age of 7.

If I can keep a clean home and have some décor sense, it's because I grew up in a filthy home where just about anything went and nothing matched!

If I can get along with everyone and actually be liked, it's because I learned early on, that there is good and bad in all races, color and religion. I never brought anyone down, no matter where they were from, as many different people have helped me, in more ways than my own family ever could or would.

If I am appreciated by others, it's because I am a giver and give with all my heart, always!

I didn't become who I am without all the trials and events I have had to endure! I have spent countless years crying, simply wishing I could die! I have failed to take my own life on three (3) separate occasions…as how much more harm and hurt can one person take?!

I slowly came to realize that I cannot change our world and have no control over how people live and view me, not even my own family!

I simply learned how to take the lemons which were thrown at me and make lemonade!

Care for a glass?

Darkness Within

From darkness, there was light.
From my first breath, to my last,
Pain is all that I could remember.
Childhood dreams of laughter,
Clouded my realities of life.
Who could have predicted,
That the hell I've feared growing up,
Is the hell I live right now.
Endless nights lost to tears.
Headaches, heartaches...
When will they all disappear?
As I once prayed before,
"Angels of darkness,
Please come for me!"
I came from darkness,
To the light of hell,
One day I will return...
To peace, quiet and calm.
As my eyes will close,
One last time,
The first breath I took,
Should have been my last!

Written by me 20 years ago!