A while back, I wrote about
"Givers vs. Takers". It comes to no surprise that I would have something more to share about this subject, as our world has not changed since I wrote it and I doubt it ever will!
I wanted to take this time to share a little story about giving, in hopes that it would inspire someone else out there (even if just one person) to start giving - creating a new circle of goodness which will hopefully travel throughout this world we live in today.
April 1st, we moved from our house in Lachute, Quebec, back to Montreal after having been away from my family for almost 3 years! We found ourselves a quaint little upper duplex and we truly lucked out on its price and the fact that the landlord was a very trusting man and did not want to bother with a bunch of paperwork and credit checks! This was awesome for us, as just a few weeks prior, my husband had filed for bankruptcy and both our credit scores were somewhat left to be desired! We basically lost everything we had to our names!
I was extremely happy to be back on home turf again and as much as I missed our old house and our comfort, nothing gave me more joy than to know that I was only 5 minutes away from my aging mother (as opposed to being an hour away by car in Lachute).
We didn’t know our neighbours, but as the weather got better, we began to venture out a little more and we got to meet our neighbours next door. A retired Italian couple with 3 grown up children, well in their 40s now.
Such a small world we live in, I found out that their youngest daughter “Sandra” went to high school with my sister and actually works with my sister today as a Lancome cosmetics representative. My sister works in sales at the Bay, on the South Shore and she sells Lancome products.
We had finally found the perfect neighbours! Ever so generous, they always had a bottle of homemade wine to give to us, just because...we were nice to them and their family. The father “Primo”, a retired construction worker, would tend to his garden on a daily basis and every time I would go out on my back balcony to hang out laundry to dry, he’d always look up and say: "Hi, How are you?" and invite me to come down to visit his garden filled with tomatoes, green beans, fresh basil, etc...You could honestly see the pride and care he put into that space.
One day, I find out that Primo’s wife is not well and that she was rushed to the hospital! Such a sad day that was. Primo was devastated and his eyes would tear up at the mere thought that this was the first time in over 50 years that he was alone without his wife “Dominica” by his side. He was truly lost without her.
As you know with older European generations, the mother of the house always took care of everything. With her being gone, life, as Primo knew it, remained at a stand still!
I am a stay-at-home mommy of three (3). My time is divided between my home and my children and making sure everything is under control under my roof. I love to cook and I'll be the first to admit, I never was a real baker. But after hearing what had happened next door, I felt absolutely compelled to help out in any way I could. When I cook, I always make too much (it never fails, as I always cook for an army), so I would set a special plate aside for Primo and would bring it over right before sitting down for my own meal.
One day, as I went over to drop off a plate of food, Primo greeted me at his door and simply burst into tears. His wife, Dominica, was still in the hospital, but doctors found that she had terminal cancer and had but 6 months to live!!! I couldn’t help myself, I started to cry too!
Primo went on to say how life was just so unfair...that finally after over 50 years, they have everything they needed and wanted and life was just beginning for them as a couple and family...and now this! I could see the pain and the sadness in his eyes and the only thing I could say or do, was to try to comfort him. I told him not to worry, as everything would be ok. One day at a time.
Dominica stayed in the hospital a good 2 weeks. She underwent several tests and the results weren’t in her favour. During this time, I would continue my rounds and brought lunch, dinner or something I had baked in the morning over for Primo. He loved my cakes and told me it was the best part of his mornings, as he would enjoy a piece with his usual morning cup of freshly brewed espresso.
As if the sun came out on the cloudiest of days, one day Dominica was released from the hospital and returned home, pending more tests. She was well enough to leave and she was very happy to be back in her own element. When I saw her, I gave her a huge hug and tried so hard not to notice the many bruises she had on both her arms, from all the needles she had stuck in her over the course of 2 weeks, while in the hospital!
Everything seemed to return to normal, but Dominica was still in a fragile state and suffered excruciating pain which not even morphine could dull.
With Dominica back home, I still continued my rounds, but this time I would truly think for 2, as Primo was no longer alone. His wife was back, but she could barely function on her own.
Their daughter “Emilia” flew in from Chile to help look after her mother, as there was only so much Primo could do alone for his wife. This didn’t stop me, nor did it deter me, as I continued to help out whichever way I could.
Each time I would go over, they would continuously tell me: “You do not have to do all that you do for us”, to which I would simply respond: “I know! I do what I do because I want to, as it makes ME feel good deep inside!”
Back and forth, the giving never stopped. One day, the doorbell rings. It was Primo. He came to my door and surprised me with a 10 kilo bag of sugar. He said it was a thank you gift for all the baking I had done for him and his family. We both laughed to tears, as I asked him where were the eggs to add to this, as I could only go so far on sugar alone! LOL
Anyhow, yesterday morning, I heard the motor of a diesel engine running outside my living-room window. I knew this sound a little too well and went to look. Sure enough, there was an ambulance parked outside Primo’s home. I went out and stood on my front balcony. I could not control the tears which came pouring out of my eyes! As I held my youngest daughter in my arms, all I could do was pray that Dominica was ok!
Emilia came out, her eyes filled with tears. I thought to myself "Oh No!", then she looked up my way and said that her mom was ok. She simply was in way too much pain to endure it anymore.
As the EMTs (Emergency Medical Technicians) wheeled her out, my eyes began to tear even more, as Dominica looked up at me and with what little energy she had left in her, she blew a kiss as to say, everything would be alright.
That morning, I was lost. I could not find my place. I was so sad deep within!
The only thing I could think of was Primo and how he was alone at home once again without his dear wife by his side. Emilia took off with the ambulance and stayed by her mother’s side.
So, not knowing what to do with myself, I baked yet another one of my upside down apple cakes and brought it over to Primo, along with lunch, as I knew the poor man was alone and wouldn’t eat anything unless his family was back home with him.
That afternoon, the clock was ticking. Still no news from the hospital on Dominica’s condition and Emilia still had not returned. Dinner time was fast approaching and I knew Primo would need to eat and so would Emilia once she returned home from the hospital.
So I took matters into my own hands and decided to cook a complete separate dinner for their family. I roasted a full chicken and stuffed it with garlic and plenty of spices. I then pan roasted some potatoes in olive oil and steamed up some fresh corn on the cob.
I placed everything so neatly in a huge black pan and closed it with a lid. With a huge smile of satisfaction on my face, I made my way next door once more.
Primo answered the door and he looked as if he had been crying all this time since I last saw him at noon.
What a surprise it was for him, as he opened the lid and stood there in shock. He immediately closed it and simply said: “You are the best woman, aside from my wife, in this entire world!” He gave me 2 kisses, one on each cheek, thanked me ever so much and I went home.
I felt like a million dollars. To know deep down and now to have heard it, the appreciation I got from Primo was priceless!
A little later that evening, his daughter Sandra popped into my place. She came over to give us news of her mother, as she too was at the hospital all this time and she wanted to thank me personally for having made such a wonderful dinner for her family. She went as far as saying: “If I smell like garlic, it’s all your fault!” LOL
With her, she brought along a little tote bag filled with all kinds of different cosmetics. A thank you gift for all I had done that day.
Once again, I felt on top of this world.
Someone once asked me: “Why do you do all that you do?”
My answer to this could not be more simple...
“Because someday, it will all come back to me, one way or another!”
